


Always

by orphan_account



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: 27 years later, Adults, M/M, it's the movie timeline but a lot of miniseries canon is mixed in, so this is 2016/2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 00:31:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13283127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: They continued their married banter until Richie was done washing his hair. “Richie?”“Yeah?”“I love you.”“I love you, too, Eddie. Always will.”





	Always

  Richie figured he fell in love with someone in the summer of eighty nine. He couldn’t remember much: just tan skin, soft blonde hair, eyes you could drown in if you looked at them for too long. Sometimes he had dreams about whoever it was. He was always looking at them from behind, and every time he’d go to touch their shoulder, and they’d warp into smoke. Those were the nights he dreaded. Their hair was in neat waves, and it trailed down their neck, and –

  He never got more. 

  Because they always dissipated, he never got to see what they looked like. What he knew about them was that their name started with an E, as that was what had been tattooed on his ankle since he was a kid. Like how his mom’s ankle donned a W, and his father’s donned a proud M. Richie  _ knew  _ it was the same person from his childhood – it had to be. But he couldn’t remember their fucking  _ name.  _

  Until he got the phone call. It was weird, getting a phone call, as most people just messaged online, but the number was from somewhere in Maine, and he told himself he had to answer it. It was only when Mike Hanlon’s sweet voice narrated his problem that he remembered. 

  He thought back to summers under the stars, back to simpler times when taxes were nothing but shit he saw on the dinner table, when his Voices all sounded the same except for dialects. When he was Bucky Beaver and Trashmouth, not Rich Records Tozier. When he was in love with the little asthmatic down the road –  _ Eddie. Eddie Kaspbrak. Eddie Kaspbrak, cutest boy on the east coast. Possibly in the world! Eddie Spaghetti, oh, how Eddie hated that.  _

__ He’d packed as soon as he could. 

  Something was  _ pulling  _ him back to the east coast, like a magnet – back to Eddie. The entire plane ride was filled with his leg bouncing  _ (Take your meds, Rich.)  _ and his finger tapping on the seat’s arm. When he got to the diner, he had an anxiety attack thinking about what was going to happen. His throat closed up and his eyes were blurry and his arms were itching, but god  _ damn  _ it if he wasn’t going to calm himself down. Whether it was for himself or for Eddie, he didn’t know. 

  When he saw Eddie, his throat closed up again, but not around breath. It was shut with emotion, every memory of them kissing and promising and  _ promising  _ and –

  “Richie,” he said quietly. Richie wanted to cry. They both walked as fast as they could in a diner with patrons in it to each other, and when they were close enough to whisper to each other, they stopped. It was a needed affirmation: they made eye contact, and then they hugged each other. Richie didn’t remember a single time in his life when he had been hugged that tight, that  _ meaningfully.  _ Nothing had ever mattered as much as that hug had. 

  Eddie was gripping his shirt in one hand and his hair in the other. Richie was cupping the back of Eddie’s head and holding him as tight as possible. Something was itching at his tongue, burning his throat, trying to force itself out. “Eddie,” he choked out, pulling him in impossibly tighter.  _ “Eddie,”  _ he repeated. 

  “Not gonna share the love, Tozier?” Mike chuckled. Bill hit his arm and made a face. Richie couldn’t see what it was well enough to decipher what it meant, and he didn’t care. He gave it another moment before he moved to bear hug Bill and Mike. 

  “Look at you,” he chuckled. The restriction of his throat finally left. “Jesus, Mike, you look sixty. You good?” Mike rolled his eyes and took a sharp breath. 

  “Well,  _ shitbird,  _ I –”

  “Aren’t you a bunch of handsome old men?” There she was, in all of her glory. 

  “Ah, Miss Marsh, not a day over fifty!” Richie snickered. 

  She punched him and they all hugged each other.

* * *

  “You know,” Richie said quietly, his fingers laced in Eddie’s hair, “I’m not sure I ever forgot you.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. I had dreams about you. Remembered us as kids. Those… stupid fucking Voices. I’m famous now, did you know?” Richie chuckled quietly and Eddie raised his eyebrows.

  “From those shitty things?”

  “They’re better now, asshole,” Richie mumbled. He kissed Eddie again. “We could get married. It’s legal now. Be stupid fucking… tea drinking gays out in Cali.”

  “Tea is  _ disgusting.  _ I don’t know how you drink it,” Eddie laughed. “I haven’t left the west coast. I live up in New York.”

  “Ah,  _ that’s  _ where the accent’s from. The coffee, too, I assume?” 

  Eddie smiled a little and nodded. “Yeah… yeah, probably. Mom hates it, but I drank it to keep me awake in college.”

  Richie’s heart melted. He hadn’t even  _ thought  _ of the possibility that Eddie had gone to college. “Where’d you go?”

  “Sorry?”

  “College, Eds.”

  “Oh, uh. NYU.” He kissed Richie softly. Richie’s hand found its way to Eddie’s hip, and Eddie put his hand over it. Their fingers locked together and Richie knew that’s where they were meant to be. Not in two different states, not one state that shines and one covered in fucking smog, but  _ together.  _ “Richie,” Eddie whispered, “stop thinking.”

  Richie nodded and kissed down Eddie’s neck, and Eddie groaned quietly, and yeah. Yeah, they were supposed to be there. 

* * *

  “Come wash my back!” Eddie yelled from the bathroom.

  Richie’s head snapped up. “Shit, really, Eds? You know, I thought last night was enough for a century, but if you insist –”

  “I mean it, asshole. And don’t call me that! You know I hate it.” Both of them knew he was lying. 

  Richie held his hands up to the empty room and walked into the bathroom. “Your ass looks great, Kaspbrak. Miss the shorts, though. Best part about the summers in this shithole.” 

  Eddie rolled his eyes and threw his shirt at Richie’s face. “I’m well aware my ass looks great. C’mon, it’s gonna fog up too much.” He stepped into the shower and Richie sighed softly. 

_ Eddie shoved at Richie’s arms. “No! No, no, no! Uncle! UNCLE! Richie, AHH! No! St – Stop, Rich!”  _

_   Richie grinned and kept his hands on Eddie’s sides. “No! You’re trapped now!” _

_   Tears started streaming from Eddie’s eyes and his laugh got a little wheezy, but his face kept its smile. Richie finally let up and Eddie was panting a little. “You okay, Eds? I’m sorry if I –” Eddie cut him off by kissing him.  _

_   “Don’t call me that,” he whispered. Richie grinned and kissed Eddie’s cheek. _

_   “I love you, Eddie Kaspbrak. I’m never gonna forget you, you know that?” _

_   “I love you, too, Jackass Tozier. I know. I’ll make sure you don’t forget this pretty face.” _

__ “Richie?  _ Richie?”  _ Eddie’s voice cut through the air and Richie blinked stupidly. He stripped and walked in the shower, putting his arms over Eddie’s shoulders. 

  “Hi.”

  Eddie hummed and stood up straighter to kiss Richie, and Richie almost swore he was standing on his toes. “Wash my hair for me?” Richie nodded and Eddie slouched again, then turned around. “I’m scared.”

  Richie lathered his hands and rubbed them in Eddie’s hair before responding. “Yeah… yeah, me too. I think we all are. But I won’t let anything happen to you, Eds. I promise. Let’s pretend we’re normal for now. Tilt your head back for me, babe.” He meant it. He couldn’t lose Eddie again – he  _ couldn’t.  _

  Eddie smiled a little and nodded. Richie rinsed the soap out of Eddie’s hair and reached for the conditioner. “What’s… What’s for dinner tonight?” Eddie tried.

  Richie laughed and he scrunched his face up.  _ “What?” _

__ “Just – Richie. You said to pretend to be normal. This… this is normal. Humour me.” 

  Richie hummed and popped the cap open. “Well,” he started, “maybe… potatoes?” He rubbed his hands together. “Mashed or baked?”

  “Baked.”

  “All right,” he started massaging it into Eddie’s hair, “baked it is. What should we have on the side? Chicken?”

  “Chicken sounds nice,” Eddie mumbled. He leaned his head back a little and Richie swore his heart grew. He rinsed Eddie’s hair clean and went to start on his own. “How… how was work?”

  “Tiring. Always is, though. Some… some…” he struggled for words and he closed his eyes. “Some kid was there. Gonna be a star one day.”

  They continued their married banter until Richie was done washing his hair. “Richie?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you, too, Eddie. Always will.”

* * *

  Richie was crying. He was crying, and snot was pooling between his nose and his lip, and he was gripping Eddie as tight as possible. “Eddie,” he choked out.

  Eddie smiled a little and he weakly gripped Richie’s hand. “I love you,” he whispered.

  “No, no, Eddie, save your strength. I love you, too, baby, so fucking much, but  _ save it.  _ Please.” Eddie’s eyes started glossing over, and he started crying. Richie started shaking. “I won’t leave you, Eddie, I promise. I’m gonna get you out of here. We’re gonna… we’re gonna be okay. You’re gonna be  _ okay,  _ Eds. Hold on for me. Think about Emma, and – and the chicken and potatoes,” he laughed weakly. “Eds, I can’t lose you again.”

  “Don’t call me that,” Eddie whispered. He let his hand trail up and he cupped Richie’s cheek. “You know how I… I…” he struggled for words and Richie started crying. “I love you,” he whispered. And he let go. 

_ “NO!  _ Eddie? Eddie. Eddie, open your eyes, come on,” Richie sobbed. He let go of Eddie to start pumping his chest. “Come on, Eddie, no,  _ no, NO!  _ Don’t leave me, you can’t leave me, I can’t lose you!” 

  “Richie…” Bill’s voice was distant, and Richie barely heard it. Blood was rushing in his ears and he couldn’t  _ see,  _ and –

  He was gone. He left. Eddie was gone, and Richie had broken his promise. “I love you, too,” Richie whispered. He leaned down and kissed Eddie’s forehead. “I’ll never forget you,” he promised. “I  _ won’t.” _

__ He never did. 


End file.
